


Intangible Saga

by Skyes (NevaehHM)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abstract, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, COlors is inspired by the song Colors by Halsey, Colors, Conflict, Drama, Emotional, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Intangible, Loss, Love, Other, Otherworldly, Romance, Sempiternal, ethereal, evanescent, saga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 23:06:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19711345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NevaehHM/pseuds/Skyes
Summary: From Red to Black. Here then gone. Our love was always present-- Intangible.





	1. Colors

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally four separate books, wherein I wanted to do something different and make the chapters one- three sentences. Now that I'm posting it here, I'll save you the effort and each chapter will be the entire book (as I originally posted it on Wattpad).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I loved you since you were Red.

  
She was the girl that sat in the back of the classroom.

Always somewhere near the window.

Not because she was some sort of rebel.

She just wasn't good with people.

They saw her as a soft purple.

She felt like murky grey.

Always surrounded by a vibrant sea of blues and greens...

Until she saw him...Red.

Then she turned pink... The softest shade.

Like the color of your cheeks when you get a tad bit too cold.... but this was something else.

This was love.

She was calm, shy, meek, and modest.

Fully clad in soft pink.

He was fire, desire, passion, and sin.

Encased in the brightest of reds.

He brought temptation that brightened that lovely pink into a bright neon.

And together, they were meant to clash but never collide.

They saw each other as silver, but others would disagree. Perhaps a dull purple with a warm-toned clay.

Or maybe a more peculiar pair like mauve with amaranth. Cause in the eyes of blue and green, they were never meant to be.

Together they saw blue... The deepest of shades, though.

Like a starless night sky ready to be stained with their ever-shining suns.

As they say, all good things must come to an end, and what a fiery end it was.

Red turned to Black, and sweet love turned toxic.

A night sky full of stars now a black abyss completely void of color.

She was still pink.

She refused to give up on Black even though everyone and everything else did.

She still saw what could be. The burning sun, crisp night sky, or the ever-rare double rainbow.

She saw a sweet mirage of lavender, peach, and mint in what could only be described as a desert of black.

He saw her as his beacon of hope, even though at times he felt utterly hopeless.

He saw the warm tones of red and orange, yellow and brown when all he felt inside was black.

Without a word, it happened.

The explosion. A burst of bright colors never before seen by anyone... Then nothing.

It was like a supernova turned into a black hole within a matter of seconds. A "blink and you miss it" brilliant display of colors before the darkness set out to destroy everything in its path.

That's how he continued to be for a while. Nothing but a black mass tainting everything within reach.

She tried to reach out, but even in his destructive ways, he kept her away.

Deep within him, he still never wanted to taint the one thing he considered pure in the world.

She was his sunshine, his double rainbow, his mosaic of bright colors in his forever blackness.

She was his array of colors he knew existed but could never touch. She was everlasting but vanishing quickly if he were to look away. Yet there was something in him that wouldn't let her go or pull her close again.

Try as she may, she could never get through to him... At least not in the way she wanted.

Countless times she tried clawing through the blackness, and just as she thought she caught a glimpse of the old Red; nothing. Black shut her out.

I love you.

I've loved you since you were red. I've seen your colors change and I don't care.

Things that clouded her mind and leaving its soft lavender traces behind.

Is it just me? Am I not good enough?

Streaks of black tainting the swirls of lavender and pink.

Everything stopped.

Everything was still.

Then Red appeared, but this time, it was different... He was different.

This wasn't the fiery warm red that she first met, this was crimson, deep maroon even. This was danger, and not the kind you would want to rush toward.

Even still she charged forward, digging through, staining her already tainted skin with murky gray.

Nothing changed, though, if anything things got worse.

So bad to the point he vanished.

Left everything behind and disappeared. Not a single trace of color left behind letting her know that what she experienced was real.

Nothing except her colorful swirls. The one thing that she clung to, hoping she would wake up and find him still around.

Nothing. No other trace of his existence. No splash of gray, river of black, nor flood of red that she had grown used to.

She searched. Refused to give up on the fact that her world went back to the blues and greens that she lived in for so long.

Saddened that her once bright life was sucked of color.

She refused to give up hope.

Refused to give up on him even if he was no longer around.

Refused to give up on a world where there was no color.


	2. Evanescent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just like a cut flower your love was Evanescent.

  
Our love was evanescent. Vanishing quickly, lasting a short time.

In that short time, though, I felt like nothing could touch me.

There was only us in the world, and no matter what, I knew you were a constant.

Until you weren't.

It happened so quickly I almost caught whiplash. How you turned from love to indifference.

It's like you never existed like we never existed, and the funny thing was. You seemed perfectly okay with that.

You seemed perfectly fine with promising me forever and snatching it away so quickly.

I guess we just had two different meanings of the word.

It was like a freshly cut flower. Pretty at first but slowly the rot set in and I realized how much I still need you.

My stem, no vase of water could ever be your substitute.

You were my world; and became it so suddenly I didn't realize until you were no more.

It was when you removed yourself from my life that I realized how big of a part you had in it.

Every moment was with you, every new experience because of you.

Every new feeling; you were the one to give it to me.

No one could love me the way that you did, and I refuse to give mine to another.

I watched you change.

From best to good, then bad to worse. I stayed there through the quick successive changes.

I tried to be the one you could count on, but you kept me away.

Such young love run dry before it ever fully blossomed.

At least that's how I saw it.

I think you saw it differently. I can't quite say in what way, but the way you looked, it was there. Hiding under all of it.

The true meaning behind your change.

It was always when I thought I found it, thought I was getting you back did I get shut out again. Forced out, I dove in with reckless abandon because I refused to give up.

I think you knew this, though, but that didn't stop you from ceasing to care.

I think that's what hurt me most.

The fact that you didn't care enough to give me the time of day when I bore my soul and offered you my world despite everything.

Then it happened.

Not only did you take your love from me, but you vanished too.

Gone without a trace that you'd been here... Except for the fact that you took my heart with you and left me with scars.

Deep cuts that reminded me daily that you were real, and I had reason to feel the way I did.

Why can't I sleep at night?

Is it because of sadness or hope? Hope that you'd come tap on my window like you used to.

Offer me an adventure that would end moments before the sun came up to erase the moments we created in the stars.

Even still, that never stopped us from creating better ones the next night.

Sometimes I look up at the night sky, and I get taken back to that moment. Would I do it all again?

Go back to the time where there wasn't you? Refuse to get caught up in your brilliance only to get burned the second I stepped too close?

The answer to that...

Yes.

No matter how things are now, wherever you are. You'll always carry a part of me with you whether you know it or not.

From the brief flashes in your eyes before you left, I'd say you still have it... Our forever.

**_ev·a·nes·cent_ **  
**_ˌevəˈnes(ə)nt/_ **  
**_adjective literary_ **  
**_adjective: evanescent_ **  
**_Soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing._ **  
**_"A shimmering evanescent bubble."_ **

_I never meant for you to feel this way._

_When I left, I thought I was doing what was best for us both._

_Even though I'm not around, I still like to know that I have you to care for me._

_No, it's not what you think, I'm not dead... Just gone._

_I wasn't needed, so I had no need to be there anymore._

_I fulfilled my duty and even though I wanted to stay, wanted to paint more skies with you, there just wasn't enough time._

_That's the funny thing about this whole thing, time that is._

_You never know how much of it has passed until you bare the pain of every passing second. Every moment of pain is noted, every day that passes, new scars cover the old and create a collage of once sweet memories gone bad._

_All in the matter of a blink._

_One blink was all it took for me to question what it is I lived for, what it is I loved for... What it is that I truly wanted and not what I was supposed to be._

_But it's not like I can change what has been done._

_And all it took was one blink._

_Never has this happened to me. Never have my night skies felt this empty, and bright days looked so dull._

_Never has my life changed so drastically, yet I had to leave it behind so soon._

_I've never experienced a love lost but not have it entirely lost, and that is the worse pain._

_Knowing the havoc your love made but being utterly helpless to its powers._

_You're not alone in this pain love, and I bear the weight of it for the both of us. I just wish there was another way, but it wasn't. There was nothing._

_No clock that I could possibly turn back to change the broken heart and everlasting pain from such a minuscule encounter._

_And the funny thing is... All it took was one blink._  



	3. Ethereal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your presence was always there -- Ethereal.

  
**I never thought I’d be happy again.**

_I never thought I’d see you smile._

**This love I feel is different, though.**

**Not at all like the fireworks I felt with just being in your presence.**

_At least now, my heart feels a little lighter._

_Knowing that you found someone that can love you the way you need it._

_I’m happy. Not because I no longer feel the pain, but because no matter who you love, if you’re happy, that’s the only thing that matters._

**I can still feel it sometimes.**

**The swirling of what we once shared.**

_I know you still think of us, but please forget and move on._

**That feeling though, holds me back sometimes.**

_I can still see it in your eyes, that spark. That reminder of the times we shared. The only thing that remains of my time with you besides fading memories._

**It’s like you’re still here, but just barely.**

**Here enough for me to notice your presence but not enough to be sure you ever existed.**

_A part of me wants that spark to stay there._

**I know the truth, though.**

_The lesser part wishes it would extinguish so you would be truly happy._

**At least I think I do.**

**Then again, that didn’t seem remotely possible.**

_He has started to notice too. Notice not me, but the little changes in you._

_I’m not here... Or at least not... Completely._

**Did you even mean for it to be this way? For us to be some sort of star-crossed lovers?**

_I never meant for it to be that way... For us to burn so brightly but never have the chance to scorch the darkened skies._

**For us to have a love so bright neither of us could stand it, and others envied it, only for it to diminish so fast.**

_I hope you know that; know that I never meant for you to hurt._

**It was too fast. There wasn’t enough time that we shared. More like a teaser and I want more.**

_There wasn’t enough time for us to flourish and not enough time for goodbye._

**I feel that I will always want more of you... More of us.**

_There was only time for me to push you away and do the one thing I never wanted to do before I was removed._

**Where did you go?**

_Hurt you._

**It doesn’t feel like you just left town, you _vanished._**

_A hurt so deep that the only way to repair it is to return. Even still, I don’t think that would ever take away the sting of even leaving in the first place._

**Sometimes I think that I’ve gone crazy then I feel it. Your presence, that spark, that faint heat of our once roaring fire and I remember.**

**Remember every moment we ever had and every word we spoke. All the while, he watches.**

_I wish I could have left things off properly, explain it all to you, but there were too many words and not enough time._

**And I smile and pretend everything is still okay, but inside, I’m still hurting.**

_And it’s not like I can try now because you will never hear me._

**Not because you’re gone, but I know you will never come back.**

**If you were going to, it would have been before the first two years had come and went.**

_So much time has passed, and you still hold on._

_Hold on to everything, even while you pretend with him._

_I’ve come and left and came once more, and still you play pretend._

**It didn’t hurt the second time.**

_Then he left, and you were complacent... At least on the surface._

**He finally realized that my heart wasn’t his to hold, and he left.**

_I knew it was because of me, and the selfish part of me can’t regret ever coming into your life._

**I barely felt anything at all. If anything, I sort of felt relieved.**

_Cause while it was my job to help you. You became the best thing that has ever happened to me in all my existence._

**I no longer had to pretend around him to make him happy. I could just live.**

**Then I asked myself... What’s the use of living if you don’t exist?**

_Underneath that complacent smile of yours, I knew a war raged, and I hope you would make it out alive._

_Just hold on a bit longer... For me._

**I would have ended it a long time ago if it wasn’t for you. I know that sounds funny, but it’s true.**

_Actually seeing you again made me happy. Even though it wasn’t physically, it was as close to it as I possibly could without messing with the balance._

**Though you never came back to me physically, you were in my dream once. Spoke to me briefly, and that was all I needed to know. To solidify what I knew all along.**

_Now hopefully you can move on._

_Find someone that can give you the love you deserve, and maybe even forget about me._

**There’s something I never let anyone know.**

**Even though you were never there physically, I could always feel your presence there. Observing.**


	4. Sempiternal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the end there was only one.

  
**_One_**  
look, that's all it took for me to fall in love with you.

**_Two_**  
hearts tangled in a love that was destined to end in pain.

**_Three_**  
words we often exchanged, and now I question if you actually meant it.

**_Four_**  
galaxies I was able to uncover in your eyes until you went away.

**_Five_**  
nights in a row I cried trying to forget.

**_Six_**  
days it took to realize that you would never come back.

**_Seven_**  
moments I kept the hope that I would see your face, if only for a goodbye.

**_Eight_**  
times my heart skipped a beat because I thought I caught a glimpse of you.

**_Nine_**  
more times my heart was crushed with realization.

**_Ten_**  
promises you made but never kept.

**_Eleven_**  
stars that seemed to vanish when you did.

**_Twelve_**  
constellations that once gave me a thrill; now reminded me of what could have been.

**_Thirteen_**  
stories with now false endings.

_**Fourteen**_  
ways I thought of ending it all.

_**Fifteen**_  
reasons I used to convince myself that 'the easy way' wasn't the way to go.

_**Sixteen**_  
instances you looked so happy, but now I'm sure you're playing pretend.

_**Seventeen**_  
nights I slept on your side of the bed, trying desperately to remember your scent.

_**Eighteen**_  
times I had to remind myself that I'm not useless.

_**Nineteen**_  
days I woke up still thinking you were next to me.

_**Twenty**_  
minutes a day, I spent fighting tears in front of him.

_**Twenty-one**_  
hours of him convincing me that I was worth something more than I thought I was.

_**Twenty-two**_  
seconds I almost believed it.

_**Twenty-three**_  
distant memories I vaguely remember.

_**Twenty-four**_  
more perfect memories that became faded with time.

_**Twenty-five**_  
wishes upon stars that seem oh so distant now.

_**Twenty-six**_  
months it took me to finally start forgetting.

_**Twenty-seven**_  
months it took me to find someone that gave me the same spark you once did.


End file.
